My father's death - Day 3 - morning

I've had a lot of people tell me to take good care of myself and I'm really trying to. I'm eating pretty well and drinking fluids, but getting to sleep's been hard and I'm waking up with a sinus something that's gotten more noticeable since yesterday. For some reason, I've insisted on getting up around 8a even though I haven't slept until 2a or so the past three days anyway.

I had a long discussion with Patrick last night. He offered to help dress my father for the ID Viewing before the cremation but after relaying the reasoning that Charlotte and I shared, he changed his offer to providing flowers for my father. I spoke to him about my internal debate regarding a eulogy for my father and whether to include only the virtuous characteristics and deeds or to share the breadth of his character including his shortcomings which is my preference. Patrick's shared his perspective that the funeral viewings and really anything that occurs since dad's death are for us, those that remember him and that nothing we say or do can change what he's done and who he was. That totally makes sense to me and agrees with where my heart has been in the decisions I've been making and the way I've been dealing with his death.

I think I saved his suit that he was traveling with. I'm going to call the funeral home to see if they will dress him in it. That will probably delay the cremation past 11:30. Then I think I'll try to get some more rest or at least get some during the day.

I was going to broadcast the intent to have a memorial service next Saturday, but it turns out that another relative just died yesterday morning. This was an older man who lost his wife only weeks ago. I received this yesterday afternoon and I'm only now able to process it, a sign to me of how full up my mind's been.

Pastor Wilfred Su ( Su Wen-Leng) has just informed our family and has asked me to forward to all of the above,

notice of the passing of his father, Su Teng-Jeng this morning, Thursday, October 4, 2007 at Garfield Memorial Hospital in Monterey Park, California.

As all of us know, he was preceded in death by his wife, Hsi So, just a few weeks ago.

Arrangements are being made for a Memorial Service and interment alongside his wife at Rose Hills Cemetery for October 20, 2007, details to follow at a later date.

The family has also asked us to express their sentiments and wishes that no monetary gifts be given to the Su Family.

For one so inclined, we suggest contributing to their individual church or charity.

With God and Our Lord Jesus Sustaining Us,

Peace be to all of our relatives and Friends,

Drew and Li-Li Merkel
On behalf of the Su Family

As Mr. Su's memorial is on Saturday, I'll have to choose another time for my father's.

I continue to stay open to what the universe will bring. I've already received countless blessings in the forms of (but not at all limited to):

- shared experiences with many others, including people I've never met
- a new closeness with Charlotte
- a safe harbor in El Paso thanks to the families of Patrick and Ben
- a chance to understand my father's most recent travels
- more of a conviction to share my truth without fear
- compassion and understanding for others struggling with this event
- recognizing my limits during a time like this
- lots of practice with discernment and discretion

More later. I'm tired.